WRECKING BALL: Happy Children

In our modern times, the global geopolitical landscape has rapidly shifted. Existing power structures have been put to question. New dynamics have emerged for a new world. The next era awaits. Given this change, instability is a natural result, bringing with it potentially inflammatory ideas. These thoughts have catalyzed the inception of revolutionary philosophies that are fundamentally incompatible with the Seabury Quo.

One such idea is the liberation of middle schoolers, a purportedly reasonable proposition. However, this seemingly defensible idea is inherently insidious, and poses great threat to Seaburistic stability. Literature previously published in the Chronicle supports this, finding that sixth graders could not reasonably be defined as human (Griggs April 1st). Given this basis, the question is raised: why does the Middle Schooler hold such power? The answer is deceptive in its simplicity: their spirits have yet to be crushed under the gaze of Schawang. Whereas the upper school clings not to fleeting ideas like “happiness” or “sleep,” those younger are yet to submit to the social order of Seabury. 

Furthermore, the rapid proliferation of a middle school presence in Morning Meeting challenges the previously Schawang-centric matrix of power, delegitimizing the rightful castes of the school. The reemergence of small children running around the hallways, being disciplined by Ms. Meyers, constitutes a salient challenge to contemporary notions of High School supremacy. For the future reign of Supreme Headmaster Schawang, such challenges must be ruthlessly suppressed, lest subversive views of “mercy” or “less than twenty pages of english reading” be allowed to escalate.