Aquarius: The Christmas tree withering, cut from its roots, soon all your desires will be mute.
Pisces: This just in: BSAP is a collection of two kids in a trenchcoat trying to get in an R-rated movie. (Zaremba)
Aries: B: Big S: “Students” A: Acting P: Psuspicious
Taurus: Ground does not rhyme with ground, Hugh.
Gemini: Nelson didn’t even know where Jingle was. He forgor 💀
Cancer: If I see one more measly-minded worm utter a positive sigh regarding the embarrassment of––(Continued on Leo)
Leo: ––Hollywood that is also known as Hunger Games: The Ballad of THE WORST THING I’VE EVER WATCHED. EVER EVER EVER EVER
Virgo: New movie idea: the Hunger Games x Frosty the Snowman. Katniss 6.023 X 1023 eats Frosty in the nail-biting finale.
Libra: Drip goes the icicle, wetting the ground, sharpening its spear to send you to the ground.
Scorpio: NO FAX-ATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION: LIBERALS DESTROY FAX MACHINES
Sagittarius: Top 13 hilarious movie tropes: Superhero is on the phone a villain comes and he says (to phone) “I gotta call you back”
Capricorn: “More goats in schools” – National Goat Federation for Higher Education (Goats)
