Aquarius: Pepsi? More like sip ep (This is funny because “ep” can sound like “up”).
Pisces: Set an alarm and turn on your ringer on your phone for 8:14 A.M. Put it in your backpack in the commons.
Aries: Stop eating these newspapers, dang it.
Taurus: This goes out to everyone who eats dairy but is lactose intolerant.
Gemini: You are actually supposed to park on the line not between them.
Cancer: New WWE smackdown event: Mr. Nelson versus soon-to-be nuggets.
Leo: I SWEAR I knew the Middle English memorization, okay?? It was due a week and a half before Grandparent’s Day, so I forgot it. BELIEVE ME.
Virgo: 6th Street is the tenth circle of hell that Dante forgot to mention.
Libra: Forget World Peace, all I ask is that I can access Pinterest on the school Wi-Fi.
Scorpio: Hey cutie, please floss;)
Sagittarius: That was pretty patronizing, wasn’t it? Yes it was!!!
Capricorn: BREAKING NEWS: Mrs. Schrader’s advising wins the pumpkin carving contest in a landslide due to creation of antimatter.
