Aquarius: The only people good at frisbee are balding dads and you, shawty.
Pisces: “Despicable Me 4” will really have Grued on you this year.
Aries: Your weaving web is twisting and looping, the fabric shimmering.
Taurus: This is the coldest November for the rest of your life.
Gemini: Burn the pumpkins after the e’en of Hallow; dance and spook will the shadows.
Cancer: Just sing “Hamilton” while taking Czarnecki’s tests, and you’ll have a shot.
Leo: My favorite Thanksgiving dish would probably have to be the table itself. You too, huh?
Virgo: Crush goes the leaves under your feet. Crush goes your spirit under the feat.
Libra: Don’t try to decipher the mutterings of the gar. Their plane is perpendicular.
Scorpio: Dust rays in your room when you wake up at 1 pm on a Saturday. They lead to sloth-you. (This is funny because I’m calling you a sloth. Slothy.)
Sagittarius: Throw the ball up at the dropped ceiling tile and watch the dust fall like snow.
Capricorn: You’ll need a full tank of gas, snack tray and a Red Bull if you attempt the trek that is 6th street traffic.
