After Head of School Dr. Schawang shattered the American way of greetings, “good” is no longer the fashionable answer to the friendly interrogation we often find ourselves under: “how are you?” But when I very consciously catch myself and make the herculean effort to form the word “well” with my mouth, I am overtaken by a moment of discomfort. Am I being pretentious? Do I sound a bit dumb? How will people judge me for doing so?
English is a complicated language that was formed by blending many other languages and has been evolving over time. It is, therefore, extremely difficult to standardize it and to distinguish “good English” from “bad English.” Moreover, who can be the judge? Shakespeare never spelled his name the same twice, but we would know what he meant. The basic function of language is communication, enabling people to share thoughts and understanding. If we see daily speech this way, then it does not matter how we arrive at this goal, just as long as we do. Everyone deals with grammatical errors when learning to speak a language for the first time, and they usually do not hinder understanding. For such a purpose, sometimes “proper” English words are not enough as they may fail to capture the essence of a concept, whereas slang accomplishes this much better. Take the word “skibidi:” while its definable meaning can find a more formal counterpart, your listener gets the gist so much better if you just say the word, and this is why the Cambridge Dictionary made the somewhat controversial decision of adding it to its collection. English is a made-up language, so as long as there is a mutual understanding, formality can be set aside for casual conversation. Cultural rules sometimes outweigh grammar rules. If sharing and connecting are the ultimate aim of speech, then why not say “I’m doing good” just to meet the social expectations? It is a better way to start a friendly conversation. This being said, I am still reluctant to chuck our 500-year-old English grammar out the window, but maybe I do not have to.
Proper English does not have the same level of importance for everyone, and I am likely the only one who would jump up in the middle of the night, thinking, did I say “too many details” earlier today? Most people are also respectful and kind enough to not mind when the “it’s a secret between he and I”’s come up in casual conversation. We can be merciful towards ourselves and one another. It is not a big deal. But whether we think it matters or not, our brains consciously or subconsciously catch those errors. This is often how we form an opinion about others, judgmental and uncritical people alike. And it is not just grammatical errors, colloquialism, swear words, filler words or other diction choices are also commonly understood as a reflection of personality, class and generation. Although this sounds uncomfortable, there are settings in which such assessment is appropriate, like during a job interview, where you want to be evaluated highly, and more importantly, higher than your competition. Those special occasions where a phenomenal first impression is everything are a telltale sign that the world can be a cruel place sometimes, so why not, in our daily speech, have more grace for ourselves and others. Try not to take yourself too seriously and hold a forgiving attitude toward small mistakes. Let us all appreciate the fact that the way we talk is shaped by everything around us and reflects so much of who we are. It is worth being proud of. I may care more about the rules of English than you do, but let us each be ourselves. In this labyrinth of those rules, there are still so many approaches to express the same idea, and we can pave our own ways to make our speech uniquely ours. Is it not fascinating how you can tell who the author is by simply looking at a paragraph, how friends sound so similar and how love can ride on the three simple syllables “how are you?”
