I try not to make a habit of criticizing aspiring restaurants or any other newly-opened Lawrence businesses lest I dissuade the tens of thousands of Lawrence residents who subscribe to The Chronicle from patronizing them. But Jimmy’s Egg recently closed both of its Lawrence locations, so I now feel free to criticize the ill-conceived breakfast place.

Firstly, why is the egg so sentient? I never asked to see a walking egg with a human face and a chef’s hat. That kind of thing populates nightmares. Also, the egg is holding kitchen implements in the restaurant’s logo, indicating that it breaks, cooks and serves its own brethren. I will never patronize an establishment that promotes cannibalism; there are some principles that I will always defend.

Secondly, I refuse to accept the owner’s whiney excuses for closing the restaurant. In an article in the Lawrence Journal-World, he complained that hate and radicalism had driven him out. This is because Wink Hartman, who was Republican candidate Kris Kobach’s running mate for KS governor in 2018, served as the “banker” for the two Lawrence restaurants, which led some area residents to boycott (and vandalize) the establishment. Okay boomer–this is a pitiful excuse for the failings of the business. There are plenty of people in this town who are not politically conscious enough to boycott the place, and likely a significant number who would have eaten at the restaurant more frequently due to the political affiliation of its investors. Had their food been good and their business model successful, they surely would have found a foothold here, but they failed to. Blaming Lawrence’s purported atmosphere of liberal fury is a weak excuse, and I have no sympathy for those who denigrate my town as a hate-infested hellhole. I have no sympathy for Jimmy’s Egg.