Wrecking Ball: “Spies in disguise”

Cameren Green and Colin Farha

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The musical “Cats” was a beautiful showing of humans in cat disguises (much like the disguises in “Spies in Disguise”) dancing and singing composed by the almighty Andrew Lloyd Webber. The play in fact was so good that Tom Hooper, the director of the film, thought that it was completely necessary it needed a movie adaptation. Incorrect. 

“Cats” was a horrible film. Easily the most confusing and disturbing movie we have ever seen. The entire plot is that some cats (who all appear to be female, which is a story for another time) are competing to “ascend to the Heaviside Layer” by ritual levitation. The overall movement and choreography by said cats were preposterous. We had nothing but questions while watching this movie. Why would you ruin such a great play with such a terrible movie. Why does the ending end in that way? (We aren’t going to spoil it just in case you want to watch this dumpster fire of a movie) Why are certain actors even in this movie? We both understand that Taylor Swift needed the money after all of her copyright issues and whatever her latest album was but, James Corden? Idris Elba? Elba is popularly seen as the renegade character in movies such as Calvin and Hobbs and The Dark Tower but why this movie? It just seems like Tom Hooper just had 50 million dollars to blow and just spent it on artists who can sing but can’t act. Except for Rebel Wilson, who was absolutely magnificent and makes the movie somewhat watchable. She deserves every actress award possible. “Cats” ruined our lives and wasted our time.

In conclusion, “Spies in Disguise” is a masterpeace of a film. We came for the spies and stayed for the disguises.