Mr. Meier… or Ms. Meyers?

Campbell Helling, Copy

Let me ask you something: have you ever seen Mr. Meier or Ms. Meyers in the same room? The answer is no, you have not. Ever since “Mr. Meier” joined the Seabury community last year, people have been skeptical of the two Me(ie/y)er(s). “Our Latin and Physical Science classes were at the beginning and end of the day,” says former-eighth grader Grant Bryan. “Suspicious,” he adds.

Suspicious indeed. The time between the morning and afternoon classes would give Mr/s. Me(ie/y)er(s) plenty of time to switch identities. Bryan presented further evidence: “[“Mr. Meier”] once said he slammed a hammer on his thumb, and [“Ms. Meyers”] has a hammer right in her desk.” “Suspicious,” he adds. 

But why would Mr/s. Me(ie/y)er(s) have a double identity? Detective Debby Ryan had some thoughts on the matter: “The motive behind these people,” she says, pausing to tuck her hair behind her ear, “is to eventually become every person in the community. So in this case, this person wants to become every teacher and every student. Be prepared for someone to disappear, and then ‘return.’ Except it’s not them, it’s Mr/s. Me(ie/y)er(s).” 

Detective Ryan warns to keep a close watch on friends, classmates and teachers, especially their height or a sudden vocal change. “These people,” she says, pausing to tuck her hair behind her ear, “will essentially become the identity in every way except length-wise. It is also extremely hard to completely imitate every voice possible, so look (and listen) out!”