Whether it is your first relationship or your tenth, there is no doubt that breaking up is never easy. Nobody ever enjoys ending things with a significant other, whether or not the feelings are mutual. But in times such as those, you can take comfort in knowing that even faculty members have had bad breakups.

“I overheard her talking with her friends trying to get the phone number of a DJ or a camera man or something like that,” says faculty member Eric Neuteboom as he recalls a story from a date he had in college. “I just thought, ‘Wait, I thought that we were on a date! You’re trying to get phone numbers?’ I think she sensed that I was a little upset by that,” he says.

“She made an ‘apology cake’ and brought it over to my dorm room. At that point, I was too irritated to be respectful, so I ended up just throwing it away!”

While some look to the culinary arts to attempt to save a relationship, others believe that more quality time is all that is needed. “When I was a freshman in college, I was dating my highschool sweetheart,” says faculty member Amy Meyers. “In December, when we saw each other for Christmas break; we both had news to share. The news was not the same caliber of news in terms of happiness,” she says. “He revealed to me that he was surprising me by transferring to [my college], and that he would be there in January as a student so that we could be together . . . I just thought, ‘wow…that’s a lot.’ Because, you know, I was feeling the opposite.” When asked how she tried to handle the situation, Meyers says that she “really tried honestly to play it off like [she] didn’t have anything to say, but obviously it didn’t work.” 

You can try to put it off for as long as you can, but sometimes breakups are just inevitable. “I think sometimes you stay in a relationship too long because you are afraid to break up,” says faculty member Sara Asher. 

Though it is never easy, it must be done. “Eventually, I had to tell the truth, which went over horribly,” says Meyers. “It most certainly was not pleasant or comfortable or any of those things, even though now it seems really funny. And it is! Time helps with that.” 

Meyers is not the only one who believes that time is the best remedy after a break up. “It’s time, and it’s friends, and it’s ice cream,” says Asher when asked how to cure a broken heart. “Love is emotions, and emotions hurt.”

When heartbreak does happen, it can be difficult to love again. “Sometimes when I was in high school, I was like, ‘I don’t want to have a crush on anybody! I don’t want to fall in love with people!’ because it was so acute. I would feel it in every bone in my body,” says Asher. It is important to look to the stories of those around you and remind yourself that heartbreak is a natural part of love, and that love is a natural part of life. “I don’t want it to happen [to anyone], but at the same time, I know it needs to happen,” says Asher.

“Once your heart has been broken so deeply, to love again is such a scary risk that some people never do it,” says Asher. But whether you have to throw out the cake and get back out there, or you need more time, friends and ice cream, at some point you have to move on. And someday, maybe even the worst breakups may make for some pretty great stories. “Our love is strong, because we dare to go forth after our hearts have been broken. And the reward is great,” says Asher.