On recent Fridays, the Chronicle has received reports of the wafting smell of popcorn in the eighth and ninth grade hallway. Finally, our journalists have discovered the truth behind this matter.

Upon initial ground inspection, our investigators discovered traces of the movie time delicacy known as popcorn scattered outside of and continuing through the Asher classroom. Only fragments on the floor remained, implying a recent and rushed evacuation to evade our investigative prowess. Still, the scent of butter hung thick in the air.

Subsequent interrogations revealed the existence of a covert popcorn making operation for secret events held in the Asher classroom. When asked about these discoveries, Asher replied “What do you mean secret? I’ve been doing this for years.”

An anonymous sixth grader on-site reported that they “will never eat anything else ever again.”

Stay tuned for more updates on the Seabury popcorn scandal.